"Feelings on the outside" can be used for something constructive

"Kom Så Rune"?

When we launched the funding company and platform FundBricks.com, we had a lead named "Rune". Rune was not particularly motivated to become a customer with us, even though we had many conversations with him and several times thought that now the deal was in place. In our own frustration - and because we are so passionate about our product - we ended up defining the hashtag "#KomSåRune" internally in Slack, because Rune was talked about many times.

Over time, however, #KomSåRune was "developed" to also be a battle cry that gives internal fighting spirit when it counts. The phrase can now be used as a response to a message in Slack, as a response in a conversation and is used (implicitly) both when something is going too slowly and when something needs to be fought for.

Do you also have a "#KomSåRune" in your country?

The emotions on the outside

During a run on a late summer day last year, I was impatient and clearly needed to get rid of something -> Hence the short video that you will come to later in the article and which was actually made mostly for myself...

The "feelings without clothes" thing is something many people have experienced. You experience it as a kind of oversensitivity of your (good/bad) feelings; you can become unjustifiably angry/irritable, over-zealous, laughing silly, unnecessarily scared, nervous, childish, etc. - and often it is when there is something at stake, you are passionate about something and/or have something to lose (such as your business).

When you fight for something and have your emotions on the outside of your clothes, it is also easy to go against each other internally (I have experienced this in several companies - large and small) and you can be unnecessarily stubborn about your argument / attitude because you really believe that you have the best solution for the company.

How many can/dare to recognize this?

Having strong feelings and going to great lengths to do (what you think is best for the company) shows that you are fighting for something. Your feelings for the company become almost family feelings.

Some may remember the 2009 Danish movie "Headhunter" starring Lars Mikkelsen. In it, the old father (the owner of the conglomerate) puts his son through some indirect tests, precisely to test how far the son will go to fight for the leadership of the company. The father knew how to use his son's anger/behavior constructively, instead of challenging his son's immediate words.

Experiences

I am not perfect or equally constructive in all situations. I have also been in the aforementioned situations where I/colleagues/co-founders/owners have had emotions on the outside, have forgotten to listen to each other, have forgotten to speak nicely to each other and where there have clearly been emotions on the outside.

However, I have learned that all these aforementioned emotions, frustrations and strong will, can be used constructively - But it requires that you are aware that your (perhaps) too strong attitudes / feelings are an expression of a real positive feeling and not an anger.

It's basically about listening to what is being said, rather than hearing what words/expressions are being used. Recognize that strong emotions/attitudes (positive and negative) can be because you are passionate about your job, fighting for your company and want the best - so try to listen.

If colleagues/team/partners manage to remember this, it is a crucial turning point in discussions.

But Dear Thor, doesn't "feelings on the outside" automatically give you carte blanche to be unprofessional and (perhaps) downright unpleasant towards your colleagues/partners...?

No - of course it does not! The basic elements of any conversation/communication should of course be empathy, respect, acceptance of others' competences, community and that nobody (always) knows best.

There is a limit - and a difference - between being passionate and being disrespectful

...and if you have something you need to get rid of, try going for a run...experience tells me that it works very well 😉 .